Work in minus clients and force to replenish

Greetings! My trading account is 22378455867. I want to say that during the entire time of my work there were moments when, due to my lack of neatness and carelessness, I got into unpleasant situations, but I paid for them with money and time to fix them, they lowered me twice, and not always through my fault, but it turned out to fix everything, for all this time I was morally and financially empty so much that I thought it would never end. And my trading account is like a punishment that pulls me into debt and only ruins my life. I am not able to lose all the resources that I spent on this and limited myself and my family in everything and the people who trusted me with their money. As soon as the situation got better, they again gave either gaps or usndx, so I again fell into the red! and again I try once again to draw out the account, which did not work out very well for the fourth month with my analyst. And in the end what? Nothing ? The company generally has some kind of responsibility and guarantees or insurance against such moments. I lost everything. That's all I had plus other people's resources in the hope of earning. Over the past year, there was not a single normal conclusion that I would have blocked at least the interest that I had to pay. I'm not talking about my earnings! I constantly work out the cons and feed the market or someone else but not myself. You probably can not imagine how this all spoils my life. and why should I continue to live and pay off debts.?